ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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