god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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