i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
