somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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