she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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