big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
