I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
