he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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