we're blogging at a bar
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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