Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
