I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
