Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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