I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have aggressive nipples.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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