im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
