you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
