Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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