nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
