using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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