it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
