Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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