So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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