I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
