i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
