before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
