HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
