White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
