Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
