Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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