I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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