there was a trapeze. enough said
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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