You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
