remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
