Your tits are I can't wait for
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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