I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
