I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
