So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The adults are the big ones right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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