i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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