just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
