WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
