I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
