i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
