There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
