I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
