Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
