It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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