It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
