We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
