I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
