Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
