YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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