i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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