Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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