We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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